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Providing Quality ABA Services Since 2003

Autism and Siblings: Tips to Help Your Neurodivergent and Neurotypical Kids Get Along

Chad Kocian

Autism and Siblings: Tips to Help Your Neurodivergent and Neurotypical Kids Get Along

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by Katherine Johnson, M.S., BCBA
Senior Director of Partnerships, LEARN Behavioral

All sibling relationships have their ups and downs. Siblings are our first friends, our childhood tormentors, and our longest-lasting connection. With a shared childhood, siblings can often understand each other better than anyone—including how to push each other’s buttons!

These hallmark features of sibling relationships remain true when siblings have different neurological profiles—for instance, when one is autistic and the other not. But there can be additional complexities that make fostering a healthy sibling relationship a bit more work. Here are some tips for nurturing a loving, supportive relationship between your children, when one is autistic, and the other is not.

 

Use attention-prevention.

Ease the inevitable sibling jealousies by carving out one-on-one time for each child. Neurotypical children may feel unseen as troupes of family members and specialists focus on their autistic sibling.  Special “dates” in which they’re the center of attention can help. But you’ll want to carve out intentional time with your autistic child, too—time not spent shuttling to therapies, teaching, or managing behavior but simply engaging and enjoying. If possible, set aside time once a week, but don’t abandon the idea if that’s too ambitious. Just make it monthly or even quarterly.

 

Be open about their differences.

Staying away from the subject of differences can inadvertently send the message that it is taboo or shameful. Instead, take a step toward a deeper mutual understanding by sharing age-appropriate information with your children about how they think differently. Perspective-taking can be difficult for all children, particularly those who are very young and those with autism. Siblings can offer a rich mine of learning opportunities to build skills in asking for and listening to another’s point of view. Talk about emotions openly and often to teach your kids the range of reactions individuals can have to the same event.  Also build a history of open communication, in which your children can come to you with their questions and worries.

 

Listen, listen, listen.

Let’s be honest—even adults can have difficulty connecting with other people whose brains work in different ways than theirs do. Children need a hefty amount of patience and understanding to learn how to love, care for, and enjoy someone who has a different experience of the world. As negative emotions like jealousy and resentment come up, don’t try to talk them out of them. Listen closely, and validate their feelings before you try to solve anything. Your autistic child may communicate their hurts and disappointments in their own unique way, so “listening” may look different across children. Whatever the case, as you learn to recognize the ways your autistic child communicates, pass on this information to their siblings, to build more understanding among your kids.

 

Share positive experiences.

One key to establishing a strong relationship is to share positive experiences. This can be tricky if you have kids with vastly different interests, sensory preferences, or abilities. Don’t get stuck in old-fashioned thinking that family togetherness only means board games or sports. Instead, find new ways for siblings to play together. One way to expand everyone’s palate for fun is to have regular family time in which each person takes turns determining the activity. In its simplest form, this shows your children how much you value your time together and respect each family member’s interests, even when you don’t share them. When your kids are ready for it, you can use this as a perspective-taking lesson about considering what others will enjoy.

 

Assist with conflicts.

When you’re trying to foster a healthy sibling relationship, advice from others is often to “let them work it out on their own.” However, if your kids have different neurological profiles, you may need to help your children build skills to problem-solve their conflicts first. You can prevent physical tussles and diffuse situations before they escalate by teaching them to separate from one another to calm down. To prepare, have them practice going to separate “calm-down spots” during conflict-free times. While this method will help in the short-term, to support conflict resolution long-term, seek to learn each child’s methods of communicating, and help them grow those skills so they can use them to express their needs—and better understand each other.

 

Seek out similarities.

Although differences among our children may be huge, look for commonalities, and mention them often. Do both of your kids like ice cream or have the same kissable cheeks? Emphasize the similarities, particularly when they involve a shared goal, such as not wanting to go to bed or clean their room. After all, siblings are rarely closer than those shared moments of ganging up on their parents! Even a tense moment in the family can be an opportunity to point out that they’re on the same team.

Parenting multiple children is a stressful endeavor, and when siblings are different, it can feel easier to just let them do things separately. But siblings will be in each other’s lives for longer than most other friends and family, so this is a relationship worth investing time in right from the beginning. A healthy sibling relationship can be a lifelong source of comfort and support—and this is something we want for all of our children.

 

Looking for the latest on bringing up kids with ASD? Listen to our “10 Top-Performing Podcast Episodes About Autism.”

Spotlight on Diversity in ABA: An Interview with Giovanna “G” Bosco

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Giovanna “G” Bosco (she/they), a training tech at LEARN Behavioral and AST’s Mandeville, Louisiana, location, spends the bulk of their days preparing and onboarding staff to join the LEARN and AST team. When a friend from another AST region mentioned the open position, G’s love of being around children prompted her to apply. Then, after the job offer arrived, they jumped at the chance to work with kids regularly—and spend her days making a difference in the lives of others.

G took time recently to talk about their work with LEARN’s Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) Plan, along with her experience working in ABA at AST. Here, we share the conversation.

Q: What does Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) mean to you:

A: To me, diversity is an adjective I use to describe the environment in which I like to place myself. When I think about those individuals I call my friends, co-workers, and fellow community members, I think about how no single person is like another. We each look different, have different social histories, and may even differ on how we function neurologically. Although we may be different from one another, I can learn from each of them things that I would never know if I only surrounded myself with people who look and act like me.

Equity is about establishing a level playing field. I am aware of the privilege I have, and it isn’t enough to ask that those who were not born into same privilege be treated equal. I want everyone to have access to the resources that will ensure everyone has the same fighting chance to be successful in life. Inclusion, or to include others, is an action I decide to do each day. It involves creating an environment that welcomes others and makes them feel safe and secure.

Q: In your opinion, what is the most challenging aspect of working in a diverse environment?

A: Where I live, in Louisiana, the population isn’t all that diverse. So, the most challenging aspect I could identify is in communication, and how I work and relate with new hires who come through training. But recognizing the role communication plays in any interaction with another person is probably a challenge we could all benefit from realizing and thinking more about. As I mentioned, we all have our own differences (internal and external), and recognizing and appreciating that can go a long way. But it’s not always the most intuitive thing to do.

Q: What is your approach to understanding the perspectives of colleagues or clients from different backgrounds?

A: I think the most important thing to do is to create a safe space where people can come forward and explain their perspective on the situation. We might all have different ideas on how to complete tasks or how to address certain situations, but if those involved and I are respectful and open of other ideas, a solution can almost always be found.

Q: Why is DEI important in ABA?

A: In our line of work, it is never just about the diagnosis. Our clients are diverse racially, religiously, and in so many other ways. These social identities will always intersect with their diagnosis, and you cannot serve a client without addressing all of the factors that make them them. So, I think DEI in ABA is important for many reasons. Having a diverse staff can help improve the services we give to our clients and their families … and having staff who are self-aware and willing to learn about each client’s culture will only help us provide quality services. DEI can make us all better colleagues, friends, and neighbors, too.

Q: Tell me about a time when you advocated for diversity and inclusion in the workplace or in your personal life.

A: This one is difficult for me because I don’t truly feel like I’ve advocated for this in the workplace or in my personal life. It’s something that’s just felt inherent—this is coming from someone who always received the citizenship award growing up because I was friendly to everyone. So, I may not be so intentional on acting on it. It started with something my mom always told me: “If you see someone sitting alone, sit with them, even if they don’t want to talk.” I think, overall, that’s a pretty great starting point.

Q: What’s something most colleagues don’t know about you?

A: Most of my wonderful co-workers know that I have a beautiful wife and am part of the LGBTQIA+ community. However, something most of my colleagues don’t know about me is that I identify as non-binary.

To find out how and why we tailor ABA treatment to the unique needs and values of every client and family, read “Perspectives: Embracing Individuality in Behavior Analysis.”

Christian Tsetsos Shares Stories from His Life on the Spectrum

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Christian Tsetsos works as an insurance authorization coordinator for the head office of LEARN’s Behavioral Concepts (BCI) in Worcester, Massachusetts, while serving, on the side, as a neurodiversity advocate and Asperger’s/autism speaker. He joined us recently to share stories from his professional and personal life with autism, delving into everything from his life growing up and struggling to make friends to his experience using dating apps and revealing autism to suitors. Here, we offer a recap of the conversation.

Q: You’ve worked for BCI now for 14 years. Tell us about your job there? What aspects of your work do you enjoy?

A: I started working part-time for BCI my last year of high school and continued as an administrative assistant at the main office, while attending college at Worcester State University. I majored in urban studies and realized I liked the human and social services side of the field. Urban studies is an interdisciplinary major that weaves in government, city systems, sociology, and even art, engineering, and psychology. So, my job at BCI involves interacting with and helping people get the services they need.

I liked my work at BCI and the safe space it gave me to develop my social and professional skills, so I stayed on to take a full-time position in 2014, after graduating from college. This was around the time that insurance policies started covering more ABA services. The company was expanding and transitioning from only providing services through school contracts to offering services in client’s homes and in clinics. To this day, I work in BCI’s first clinic.

Over the years, I’ve worked in a number of jobs at BCI—answering phone calls as a receptionist at the front desk, screening candidates for behavior techs as a human resources assistant, supporting recruiting and talking to prospective applicants at career fairs, and coordinating the intake and insurance authorization processes. I like what I do now, in the insurance side of the business, because I’m detail-oriented. Authorizations involve a ton of rules and policies and limits. Remembering and tracking endless details isn’t for everyone, but it’s something I’m good at and enjoy.

What I like most about my role, though, is the human interaction—for instance, I like helping behavior analysts when they don’t remember a particular insurance code. I like feeling needed and being part of a collaborative team.

Q: You also go to colleges and other places to talk about autism and ABA. Tell us about that experience—and how you developed the skills and confidence to put yourself out there and speak in front of crowds.

A: The man who founded BCI, Dr. Jeff Robinson, had been my mentor for many years. In fact, he’s the one who hired me at age 17 and opened the door to my career path. He worked in schools and wanted someone to speak at community colleges about the differences between high school and college—and the kinds of support available for kids with autism and other special needs. I ended up taking part in that event, which led to the Asperger/Autism Network inviting me to do a 45-minute stand-up talk in front of 50 or so K-12 educators. This was a big deal for me, and I felt both open to it and anxious.

I remember, as I stood in front of that crowd, hearing myself talking without really seeing the audience. I focused on delivering the information and probably looked frozen and stiff. Over time, I became more comfortable and got invited back to talk about my own experiences in the K-12 education system as an individual on the spectrum. I talked about various challenges, interventions that made a difference—that sort of thing. Recently, I gave a talk to a group of grandparents about what they might do to support their grandkids on the spectrum.

Q: Public speaking can be a scary experience, but you overcame your fear. What are some of the things you share, in your talks, about growing up on the spectrum?

A: I talk a lot about the social aspects of school, and how, in elementary school, my teachers knew me and understood how to support me. They even helped me make friends. But my middle school was much larger, and I didn’t know my teachers or classmates as well. I felt disconnected. My differences became more obvious to my peers, and I eventually fell into a deep depression, partly because I didn’t have friends and started struggling academically—everything was overwhelming.

Some teachers treated me like the problems were my fault. They didn’t understand that someone with autism could be smart but still have certain challenges. I have a normal IQ, which meant I didn’t qualify for many services. At the time, people tended to look at the issue in black and white terms, without understanding that someone could have a normal IQ but still have anxiety and problems with executive functioning. It was really a lack of understanding and awareness about autism. My mom advocated for me but often ran into the school saying things like, “Well, according to the law, we don’t have to accommodate that.”

As my depression worsened, my mom kicked into full advocacy mode and started figuring out how to navigate the system. She created a system of supports that helped me get through school. She also hired Dr. Robinson as a consultant to help teachers realize I wasn’t making stuff up—that autism is a real condition that creates real challenges.

One of the big things Dr. Robinson did for me was to help my teachers become more compassionate. Of course, there are always people who can see that there is a need and intervene on their own. These people are naturally compassionate. But others need help getting there.

It’s sad, looking back, that I didn’t have a single friend when I graduated from high school. It’s also disturbing that the school was OK with that.

Q: Yes, that’s really sad and disturbing, and remarkable that you found your way to a far healthier, happier place. In your own words, why do you think you struggled to make friends, and how did you eventually start making friends?

A: I didn’t learn social skills in a class. I taught myself, but not until around age 20, when I enrolled in community college. I was lightyears behind my peers but started, around that time, to open my mind to the possibility of having friends. It dawned on me, however, that I had no idea how to go about it. This was a hard realization to make because, in general, society can be judgmental if people aren’t acting a certain way, especially a grown man who looks typical.

I started trying, on my own, to work on learning social skills by putting myself in different situations. I joined various college groups and had small conversations with people to see if the conversations went anywhere. But it took trial and error. For instance, I realized I was insulting people when I said things like, “If you want to do anything with your psych major, you’ll need to go to grad school.” I learned to take a step back and think through how that might come across as offensive.

Q: With your friends today—and even on the dating scene—do you come right out and tell people you have autism?

A: I don’t think a lot of people understand autism if they’re not affected by it. Sometimes, I’m hesitant to come out with it, though I know that telling might open the door to more understanding and compassion. At the same time, I know there’s a lot of misunderstanding about being on the spectrum. People tend to think of it as an intellectual disability, which automatically means I have a lower IQ, I can’t live on my own, I don’t have a job, and I don’t have a partner. That’s just not true.

I have most of those things, in fact. I’m single at the moment but have been on a long quest to find a partner. I went on a lot of dates last summer—really put myself out there. I’m gay and stay active, on and off, on some dating sites. I tend not to mention autism on the first date but do mention it later, and gauge the reaction. As a side note, I encounter plenty of people who are likely on the spectrum but don’t realize they’re on the spectrum—not necessarily on dates but just in general. It’s interesting.

Q: That is interesting. You’ve developed a heightened self-awareness that plenty of people lack. Aside from that, what are some advantages of being on the spectrum that most people don’t realize?

A: One positive is being able to remember certain facts and figures, like I can do in my job now, with the details of insurance rules and policies. As a kid, I would memorize what states border other states, and what towns border other towns. That’s a unique skill.

Q: What do you wish more people understood about autism?

A: People tend to think of autism as something far removed from their lives or something they only encounter on TV. In reality, autism is part of our society. I wish people could understand that there are many people out there in the world on the spectrum, in our everyday lives at work, college, everywhere. It helps to be aware of that and open-minded and accepting of those who come across as different.

I also think some people don’t want to be friends with someone with autism, and I wish that wasn’t the case. At one point in college, I was struggling academically and socially—it was obvious to the rest of the class, so I came out with my diagnosis. Instead of lending a hand, they didn’t know what to do and ended up avoiding me. I’ve had positive experiences, but it was disappointing that my classmates and my professor treated me like a nuisance. Having a teacher or classmate say, “We’re going to help you succeed,” could have done so much.

So, I would say that I wish people felt more comfortable talking about autism, instead of shying away or feeling afraid. What I really wanted, in that instance, is for people to open up and lend a hand.

Q: It really comes down to what you mentioned earlier about natural compassion, versus trained compassion. Is that fair to say?

A: Yes, it’s really about educating people in compassion. That’s what I try to do with my talks. Whether people have it naturally or need to be taught, compassion can go a long way.

Spotlight on Black Professionals in ABA: Maia Jackson

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Our new series, “Spotlight on Black Professionals in ABA,” continues with an interview with Maia Jackson, the clinical development manager of LEARN Behavioral’s Autism Spectrum Therapies (AST) office in Oakland, California, in the East Bay region of the San Francisco Bay Area.

The series comes on the heels of an analysis conducted by the Behavior Analyst Certification Board (BACB), which found that Black behavior analysts make up only 3.6 percent of the total board certified behavior analysts, a number that lags behind the 13.4 percent of Black people living in the United States, according to 2019 U.S. Census data.

Here, Maia talks about her experience and the critical need for mentorship in the ABA field.

Q: Thanks, Maia, for taking time to chat with us. Let’s start with the beginning: how did you get into ABA? What attracted you to the field?

A: My senior year in college at Sacramento State University, I still didn’t know what I was going to do. I majored in psychology, which is kind of general. As I got closer to graduating, I went on Craigslist—that’s a sign of my age—and saw a job posting that said, “Work with kids!” I really enjoyed kids and thought, Why not? I ended up taking the job and doing direct intervention with four- and five-year-old kids with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). They were adorable.

After a few months of that, I knew I wanted to continue but in a way that allowed me to grow in the field. I started Googling and looking at various options for graduate school, ultimately enrolling in National University’s master’s program in education, which offered a specialization in ABA.

Q: What was graduate school like for you?

A: It was an interesting, though busy, experience. I kept my job with Bridges, an ABA provider in Sacramento, and juggled work with studying. It helped that most of my courses were online, but that also made it harder to make connections and interact with my peers and professors. My studies lasted about a year and a half, and when I graduated, in 2009, I needed a board certified behavior analyst (BCBA) to observe and supervise me in the clinic for a set number of hours, in order to earn my own credentials as a BCBA. But ABA was still a relatively new field, at least in regard to autism, and I couldn’t find anyone to supervise me. There just weren’t that many BCBAs around at that time.

In 2011, I ended up taking a job with AST, which had recently opened a new office in the Bay area. The office caseload grew quickly, which was exciting but also challenging—I was thrown into the mix. There was a learning curve, but I got the supervision and support I needed to earn my BCBA certification and ultimately help kids and succeed in the position.

Q: What was the supervisory experience like for you? What kind of feedback did you receive on your work in the clinic?  

Someone from one of AST’s more established offices in southern California drove up to supervise me, and that was a real game-changer. I came to think of her as my mentor. In fact, I didn’t know what I had been missing until I had someone come in and provide that level of support. Mostly, what she gave me was time—time to sit and listen as I talked about my cases, time to answer my questions, time to trouble shoot. I hadn’t had that level of support before. She gave me her input and clinical guidance and expertise. Plus, she was a woman of color, like me, and I hadn’t worked with a woman of color in ABA until that time, even in grad school. She gave me the confidence to express my thoughts and concerns about the job, and advice on how to balance my professional and personal lives. We still keep in touch and call each other to troubleshoot or even just catch up.

Q: It sounds like the relationship with your mentor was a game changer, indeed. How has that experience influenced your continued work in behavior analysis?

A: Well, right now I work as the clinical development manager, supporting newly hired trainers and providing training to new supervisors, so my job, essentially, is to help guide and support new employees in clinical positions. This is important because the better trained we are, and the more we feel supported in our positions, the better the outcomes for our clients and the higher retention rates for our team.

I’m also part of a team of five professionals at LEARN launching a mentorship program for employees taking part in our organization’s Future Leaders Diversity Advancement Program Cohort, designed to increase the number of Black BCBAs at LEARN. The program provides financial assistance to employees attending National University’s master’s program in ABA. As I mentor, much of what I’ll do is what my mentor did for me—listen, guide, and help troubleshoot any problems that come along, whether related to the field or to things like work-life balance.

Mentoring is something I truly love doing. It differs from a supervisory role, where people might be guarded and careful with what they say. In a strong mentor relationship, people can pick up the phone and call anytime without worrying how they’ll be perceived. The focus is on building confidence, happiness, support, and growth.

Q: In your own words, why do you think it’s important to increase the number of Black professionals in ABA—and to increase diversity across the field, in general?

A: At LEARN and AST, we have a diverse clientele, though I’d like to see an even more diverse clientele—to see a broader range of children accessing services. Systemic issues prevent some children from getting the care they need. It often starts with well-baby checks, for instance, where a pediatrician might not refer patients who are Brown or Black to the appropriate resources in a timely manner or might not diagnose them early enough. Difficulties with transportation, work schedules (with parents working multiple shifts), and funding also prevent some children from getting the care they need. Plus, not everyone can afford services. Even with insurance, a $40 to $45 co-pay several days a week adds up quickly.

Early diagnosis and intervention are also critical. Studies show that Black and Hispanic children are diagnosed later than white children. We need to do more to make sure all children are diagnosed as early as possible so they can take advantage of the benefits of early invention. Increasing diversity among BCBAs, who can go out in the community and conduct parent and caregiver workshops, while raising awareness to pediatricians and other people in the community, are key to better serving the broad range of children in need. LEARN’s partnerships and community liaison team are doing that important work, and I would love to join and support their effort going forward.

Read the first interview in this series, “Spotlight on Black Professionals in ABA: Brandon Whitfield,” and find out more about our Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Plan.

This Earth Day and Beyond, Spend More Time in Nature

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by Genevieve Marshall, Ph.D., BCBA-D, LBA
Clinical Director, SPARKS

Years ago, in an undergraduate social psychology class, I recall my professor focusing an entire lecture on how the industrial revolution affected our relationship with nature. Specifically, the professor talked about the migration to cities and the increasing amount of time children spent inside, whether working or at school. Coupled with an increase in pollution and limited urban green space, doctors started seeing a rise in depression, anxiety, and general malaise. Their prescription? A fresh air retreat—time away from the city, time spent in nature.

I remember thinking how obvious and ridiculous the lecture came across at that time—of course, deprivation from nature is a bummer. Who doesn’t know that? When our visual environment is made of overly designed spaces and straight lines, it messes with our perception and psychology. A lack of Vitamin D from sunlight makes people sad; how strange it was to me that people needed to see a physician for medical advice, when nature was free and plentiful.

In my reaction, twenty-some years ago now, I recognize my privilege in being able to spend leisure time outdoors. As a child, I spent every day of every summer outside camping and canoeing or cavorting around my grandmother’s cottage. I built tree forts and caught frogs. In the winter, we skied and went sledding. I see now that access to abundant nature was a privilege. My parents could facilitate access; it aligned with their ‘crunchy’ conservation mindset, and they were afforded time away from work or caregiving. We also lived in a place close to nature—it was accessible, and, so, I took for granted that access was not always free.

Fast forward to the present day, and I no longer consider the lecture ridiculous. After all, we are navigating a pandemic that has increased our screen time and, for many of us, our sedentary behavior. We are worn out and ground down from restrictions, global illness, and death. For me, the monotony of quarantine, especially through the cold winter months, brewed an apathy that made the idea of time outside seem too effortful or uncomfortable.

bigstock-School-Boy-And-His-Father-Hiki-408155384(square)As an adult this past winter—a parent and an employee one year into the pandemic—my enthusiasm for the outdoors froze. My boys, too, started to fight me on going outside. Their curiosity and energy dulled. Too tired to stand firm, I would sit with them and watch The Never Ending Story or Captain Underpants for the umpteenth time. The greyness of winter pandemic life started to feel like a never-ending cycle of work, chores, and screen time.

Then spring hit. The days stretched longer and felt brighter. The trees started to come alive, and I felt like wearing pants with buttons for the first time in a while. My boys, not so much. They were still trapped in the brain fog of remote learning and social isolation. They were suffering from Nature-Deficit Disorder. The only prescription? More cowbell. Apologies, that’s not right. The only prescription? More time outside.

Richard Louv coined the term nature deficit disorder in his international bestseller from 2005, Last Child In the Woods, where he writes that “the child in nature is an endangered species, and the health of children and the health of the Earth are inseparable.” In his more recent book, Vitamin N: 500 ways to Enrich the Health & Happiness of Your Family & Community, Louv suggests that pediatricians across the country are now writing park prescriptions. The science is clear: time in nature is as important as eating a balanced diet and sleeping well. As Louv explains, experiences in the natural world boost the immune system, stimulate learning and creativity, and serve as a buffer to depression and anxiety. Confirmed by our optometrist at a recent eye exam, time in nature can even improve myopia.

So my family took a page from Louv’s book: we set up a rule that we had to spend 30 minutes engaged in movement outside every day, rain or shine. I would be a liar if I told you we accomplished this goal every day. In fact, I resorted to peppering in a few behavior analytic interventions (see: Premack Principle) to buoy the effort and enthusiasm. But it has gotten easier, and we are all feeling less ‘blah.’ We plan one big activity every weekend—a hike, a long bike ride, or a yard project. Pokémon Go city hikes are a favorite. We also use an app that identifies trees, and we dusted off our bug vacuum just in time for the Brood X cicada season.

On this Earth Day, start to think about how much time you spend outside, and how much time your kids spend outside. I would be a hypocrite to stand on this organic fair-trade soap box and tell you to limit your environmental impact by removing meat from your diet or to stop purchasing single use plastic. A conservation mindset is important, but you have to take care of yourself to take care of others (and the world). You can skip the Birkenstocks and tree hugging—and just spend some time outside. Get some Vitamin N (nature). It is rough out there, but I promise, sunshine and fresh air will make you feel better.

 

Want to know how nature can help your child or teen with autism? Browse these stories and studies:

“Exposure to Nature for Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Benefits, Caveats, and Barriers,” Health & Place, v. 55, 2019

“Nature as a Healer for Autistic Children,” Alexandria Engineering Journal, v. 58, 2019

“Vitality from Experiences in Nature and Contact with Animals—A Way to Develop Joint Attention and Social Engagement in Children with Autism?” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 2019

“Kids with Autism Benefit from Outdoor Classroom,” Toronto Star, 2013

 

Looking for tips on integrating nature into your autistic child or teen’s life? Consider these ideas:

“Time Outside: Ideas for Families,” LEARN Behavioral, 2020

“Tips for Playing Outside, and Why Children with Autism Benefit from Outdoor Play,” Marcus Autism Center

“Learning Opportunities in Nature: How Discovering Nature Benefits Children with Autism,” Marcus Autism Center

“Playing Outdoors: Building Skills, Exploring and Creating Memories for Those with ASD,” Autism Awareness Centre Inc., 2020.

Teaching COVID-19 Skills

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As states take their first tentative steps toward reopening, we want to support families navigating new rules that may be encountered in the outside world: hand hygiene, wearing masks, and physical distancing.  You may be considering sending your child back to a center-based program soon, or thinking about what things will look like at school in the fall; whatever the circumstance, these are health and safety issues that we should address with all of our children.  Here are some topics to discuss with your clinician.

Hand Hygiene

We know that the spread of Covid-19 is primarily through touch, so it is a good time to talk to your clinician about where your child is with hand hygiene, and what is the next step in teaching them to maintain hygienic hands.

Thorough hand washing is most likely something you have already begun to teach your child that will remain a priority.  For those who are just learning this skill, it is more important for them to tolerate a longer, prompted, handwashing than to achieve independence at a less-thorough level.  Children should also be able to use hand sanitizer effectively, cough and sneeze into their elbow, and be able to refrain from touching common surfaces and their own faces.

There are many different methods of teaching handwashing: prompting and reinforcing, chaining (teaching certain steps first and then adding on to the “chain”), video modeling, picture schedules, or peer (sibling) tutoring.  These same approaches can be slightly modified for teaching effective use of hand sanitizer.  Coughing and sneezing into an elbow may also be taught through modeling, video modeling, peer (sibling) tutoring, or repeated practice and role-play.

Another thing to think about is ways to help our kids build the habit of keeping their hands to themselves in public – we don’t want them touching items others have touched, or their own face.  The easiest method is  to teach them an alternative response, like keeping their hands in their pockets, clasping their hands together, or holding an object with both hands.  First, you use instructions and reinforcement to teach the target behavior to occupy their hands.  Then, begin to slowly increase the amount of time they can keep their hands occupied before they receive a reinforcer.  Ultimately, when they are in the community, you want to be able to give them the instruction and feel confident they will not touch common surfaces or their face.

Face Coverings

Masks and other face coverings will likely be in use for the foreseeable future, so it’s a good idea to begin teaching our kids to tolerate wearing face coverings and getting used to others wearing them.  One way to tackle this is “desensitization,” a fancy term for starting small and building up tolerance slowly.  If you were using desensitization, you might begin with first having your child touch the mask with her hand, then allowing the mask to be held up to her face, then allowing the ties to be secured for a second.  Another way is “pairing,” which would entail having a lot of reinforcers available when a mask is present, and getting your child to associate the mask with positive experiences.  Other topics to address with your clinician are whether it’s appropriate to teach your child to put a mask on him/herself, or learn how to take a mask off hygienically, without touching the front of the mask, and putting it directly into the laundry.

Physical Distancing

Another skill that will continue to be relevant is learning how to physically distance.  For children who can learn to give others 6 feet of distance, your clinician can modify techniques from social skills research that have been used to teach children personal space.  Many children will not be able to gauge 6 feet on their own, and the focus moves to ensuring they can follow instructions for their parents or caregivers to guide them in public.  You can begin by looking at the instructions that your child already responds to that may help you to guide him to physically distance, for example, “stop,” “come here,” “wait with me,” and “stand right there.”  It’s likely that your child has learned or worked on these or similar instructions in the past; now it becomes more important that they are able to follow them quickly and reliably.  Talk to your clinician about appropriate ways to solidify these responses, such as increasing the amount of reinforcement earned for physical distancing instructions, practicing them frequently in a variety of settings, and practicing them in the presence of significant distractions.

As parents and service providers, our goal is always to support children in staying healthy and safe as we guide their development. Though these specific goals may not be the things we would have expected to focus on, our aim is to stay flexible and continue to adapt (and help our children adapt) to the changing practices in our community.

Independent Play for Kids: Bathtub Fun

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Being a working parent is demanding.  Being a working parent with your kids home all day is demanding squared.  Being a working parent with your kids home all day when your child does not have a lot of independent play skills is relentless! 

For parents of children who require a lot of supervision, there are a number of activities that many children can do independently, and that may provide you a few minutes to yourselves.  For kids who enjoy messy, sensory fun, here are some fun activities that you can contain in a very washable location: the bathtub.   

Many of the activities you might normally do on an activity table or in the yard can be converted to the tub.  When play time is over, you can turn on the water for easy clean up of your child and the play area.

Paint

Bathtub paint is available online, or make your own by mixing liquid hand soap, cornstarch, and food coloring.  Let your kiddo paint the entire bathtub, with brushes or their fingers, whatever they like!  Use food coloring if your child is apt to get some in his/her mouth; use liquid watercolor if you’re concerned about staining clothes. 

Oobleck

If you don’t know about oobleck, it is a magical substance that feels solid to the touch, but becomes a liquid when you pick it up,  Add food coloring or liquid watercolor and it’s the coolest, messiest thing around.  I like to make a humongous bowl of it, putting one liquid watercolor on one side of the bowl and another color on the other side of the bowl; as they play with it, the colors swirl and change and mix and are truly mesmerizing.  Again, your own circumstances dictate whether food coloring or liquid watercolors are best for your family.

Edible playdough

There are many different recipes online –  choose the one that fits your kid’s allergy situation.  Here are my favorites:

Slime

Slime is always sensory fun, and there are a number of different types of recipes. 

    • Borax-free slime is made with fiber powder, so although eating it would not be good on the tummy, it is safe for kids who might give it a small taste. 
    • Gummy Bear slime is safer to eat, but it’s chock full of sugar, so careful of the sugar-crazies!
    • Borax-free and sugar free slime recipe, try this one that uses Jello.

Bubbles

For children who get excited by foaming bubbles, let them create miniature volcanoes in the bathtub.  Line up a bunch of paper cups in the tub and fill them half-way with vinegar.  Drop in some color, either food coloring or liquid water color.  Show your child how to put a spoonful of baking soda into one cup – and watch the eruption!  Exciting, non-toxic fun.   

Last, just a reminder that for kids who like water-play, actual baths are always an option for a family stuck in the house.  Now, you don’t want to leave your children alone in a bathtub full of water, but if your kid is able to play in the water safely while you are supervising, you might be able to get in a phone call or two.  If you want to mix things up, check out bathtub color tablets, different colored/scented bubble-baths, or (my kids’ favorite): water beads.  Please note that water beads are not edible, and only appropriate for children who will not ingest them.  Pre-soak the water beads first so they get plump and as big as a marble, and dump a bunch in the tub.  For kids who like to taste all of their toys, dump a container of blueberries in the water instead! They are the same size as water beads and also float!  Other novel floatable fun objects include bars of soap, apples, corks, sponges, and ice cubes.

Here’s hoping that at least one of these ideas will spark delight in your kiddo’s eyes and give you a few minutes to breathe.