A Letter From LEARN’s President

Over the last 10 weeks, I know that most of us have experienced some level of fear, sadness, uncertainty, and hardship as the pandemic has swept across the country and changed almost every facet of American living. For many of us, these feelings have been compounded in recent days with sorrow, anger, and confusion as civil unrest has forced us to look hard at the inequities in American society. Especially to members of the Black community that we work with and serve, I send my personal support and empathy, and I want to be clear that we stand in support of the rights, safety and dignity of all people.

As an organization, it’s periods like these that force us to think deeply about our role in creating a brighter future in the communities we serve. Inherent in our mission is the idea that we exist to help children succeed. But now more than ever, it’s important to take stock of who we help and how we do it. I believe strongly that:

  • Our mission is to deliver as much hope as we can, to as many families as we can, equally and fairly within all the communities we serve.
  • We have a duty to serve all families with compassion, respect and understanding of their circumstances.
  • While society as a whole may not be a level playing field, we must do better to create a workplace that is inviting, and model inclusion and diversity.

So, what’s next?

  1. We will be re-evaluating how we train and support the clinical competency of our clinical and administrative team to ensure that our services are compassionate for all
  2. We will be tasking our Diversity & Inclusion Committee with generating new ideas on how we can better promote a diverse and inclusive workplace
  3. We will continue to proactively seek to expand our services to underserved communities in need

Every step forward counts, and if we can make small progress every day towards our ideals, we can deliver results that will continue to make us proud to work for LEARN as we do our part to contribute to a brighter future for all.

#togetherwecan

-Justin

President, LEARN Behavioral

Selecting an ABA Graduate Program

Graduate school is not something to be entered into lightly. A graduate degree is a big financial investment and requires a great deal of your time for about a 2-year period. It also prepares you for the next stage in your career. Choose your program wisely to set yourself up for success! Here are some important things to consider before you make the big leap:

1)     ONLINE OR IN-PERSON?

Do you want to take your classes online or in-person? If you prefer to take classes in-person, think about commuting time, parking logistics, and be sure to get find out their Covid-cancellation policies. If you want an online experience, inquire about whether the program is synchronous (students attend online class with the professor at a set time), asynchronous (classes can be done on your own time), or a combination of the two. Graduate school will be one or your highest priorities for a couple of years, so find a program with a format that works for your learning style.

2)     PASS RATE

Graduate programs sometimes post their “pass rates,” or the percentage of their graduates who pass the BACB exam. The pass rate is not the be-all end-all, but it’s one indication as to how effectively the program prepares graduates to take the certification exam.

3)     CLASS TIMES

When classes are in-person or synchronous, the course schedule will directly affect the times you are available to work. If you have a set schedule at work, be sure the class times won’t affect your availability. If you’re looking for a job that will help you meet the BACB experience requirements, knowing class times allows you to give potential employers accurate availability.

4)     FIELDWORK: PART OF THE PROGRAM?

In order to sit for the BACB exam, you will need a degree and a certain amount of supervised fieldwork (check the BACB website for the specifics). Some graduate programs include fieldwork supervision as part of their course of study and others don’t. Programs that don’t support fieldwork are considerably cheaper, but students should understand that they will be responsible for finding their own supervisor. This may mean paying a BCBA to provide supervision, which makes the tuition savings less significant. Before choosing a program, take time to become familiar with the BACB fieldwork requirements and understand what the graduate program does and does not provide.

5)     FIELDWORK: WHAT TYPE?

If the program you’re considering includes supervision, find out which type. The BACB allows applicants to do Concentrated Supervised Fieldwork (1,500 hours) or Supervised Fieldwork (2,000 hours), but most universities only support one of these options. Please note that these hours are subject to change per the BACB.

6)     FIELDWORK: SITE

Will the organization you work for be able to fulfill the requirements that the graduate program requires of their field sites? You don’t want to get into a graduate program only to realize it’s not compatible with where you work. Find out if any of your colleagues have gone through the program you’re considering so you can get the scoop on how well the program fits into your job site.

7)     FINANCIAL

Beyond looking at cost-per-credit and total tuition, you should also ask for cost estimates of books, materials, and fees. Keep all relevant costs of the various programs you are considering in a spreadsheet for easy comparison. Also, be sure to ask what scholarships, grants and discounts are available. At LEARN, we value our employees’ desire to pursue higher education. That’s why we’ve partnered with universities across the country to help make education for our employees more affordable and accessible.

Choosing to go to graduate school is a monumental decision that will open a lot of doors for you. Select your program carefully to ensure that it’s a fit for you and a great investment in your career!

Voices for All: Ash Franks Talks about Supporting Autistic People While Being Autistic and Her Role on LEARN’s New Neurodiversity Advisory Committee

In September 2020, LEARN convened a group of neurodivergent staff to form our Neurodivergent Advisory Committee. The committee reviews and gives feedback on matters relating to neurodiversity and other person-centered ABA topics and was instrumental in the content, messaging, and visual design of LEARN’s Neurodiversity Values Statement. We asked Ash Franks, a member of the Neurodivergent Advisory Committee, to share her thoughts with us.   

 

HI, ASH! FIRST, I’D LIKE TO ASK YOU WHAT IT MEANS TO YOU TO BE AN AUTISTIC PERSON SUPPORTING OTHER AUTISTIC PEOPLE? 

Supporting other autistic people while being autistic means listening to what they have to say, however they communicate it, whether it be through an AAC device, sign language, PECS, or verbal language. It also means giving them breaks if they need it, and allowing them to use tools to cope (e.g. stuffed animals, headphones, weighted blankets, etc.). Looking back on my experiences as an autistic child has been very helpful in trying to help children who are at AST.

HOW DOES BEING AUTISTIC INSPIRE YOUR WORK IN ABA? 

Being autistic allows me to see different perspectives and ideas compared to neurotypical people, as they tend to think differently than I do.

TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE NEURODIVERGENT ADVISORY COMMITTEE AND HOW IT WORKS. 

Basically, we are trying to re-vamp ABA materials through a more neurodivergent-friendly lens, so we can make our treatment as effective as possible. Having autistic people and other neurodivergent people look at ABA therapy through their eyes allows them to explain what works and what doesn’t work. This way, we can work to have treatment be as effective, safe, and as fun as possible for everyone involved. Having BCBAs see the autistic perspective is important because we have direct experience with what worked for us growing up versus what didn’t and might be able to help streamline the treatment to be as effective as possible.

CAN YOU GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE OF SOME FEEDBACK YOU HAVE GIVEN IN YOUR ROLE ON THE COMMITTEE? 

I tend to give feedback on the more artistic and creative side of things, as I am very geared towards having an eye for creative things in the world.

FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE, WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT TO INCLUDE AUTISTIC PERSPECTIVES IN OUR FIELD? 

Including autistic people in ABA is super important because we need to account for neurodivergent perspectives to make treatment as effective as possible. Since I am autistic, I can give a firsthand account of what has personally worked for me throughout my life, and what hasn’t. I myself was never in ABA therapy growing up, but I did other types of therapies that I also have found helpful from time to time.

WHAT ARE SOME OTHER PLACES IN OUR SOCIETY THAT YOU THINK IT WOULD BE HELPFUL TO LISTEN TO THE AUTISTIC PERSPECTIVE?

I think listening to autistic perspectives in the workplace would be very helpful. I think having a quiet room for staff that has sensory toys specific for staff would be very helpful, also maybe including a comfy place to sit with a weighted blanket would be good too. Another place it would be helpful to listen to autistic people is when it comes to shopping at malls, since malls can be overwhelming for most autistic people. I know some stores have “quiet” shopping hours where they reduce the lighting and turn off the music, and I really wish more places would do this.

ASH, THANK YOU FOR YOUR THOUGHTS AND FOR THE EXCELLENT WORK YOU’RE DOING ON THE NEURODIVERGENT ADVISORY COMMITTEE!

Ash Franks is a Behavior Technician for Learn Behavioral. Ash works in AST’s Hillsboro, Oregon location. Outside of work, she enjoys photography, cooking, video games, and spending time with family and friends. 

Spotlight on Diversity in ABA: An Interview with Angela Parker

Passionate about improving the lives of kids with autism and their families, Angela Parker works as a board certified behavior analyst (BCBA) for Autism Spectrum Therapies (AST) in California’s San Gabriel Valley region. She and her team of 17 are committed to the consistent, ethical use of the programs AST and LEARN provide. In this interview, she discusses her experiences in ABA and her involvement with AST and LEARN’s Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) Plan, a longstanding commitment to fostering a culture that embraces what makes us each unique.

Q: WHY DID YOU GET INTO ABA?

A: I took a course during undergrad called “Through Another’s Eyes, where I volunteered at a company that hired adults who were disabled prior to age 18. It changed my worldview, and I stayed on longer to complete an internship there. Following graduation, I started as a 1:1 paraprofessional in a school district and learned how to run a Discrete Trial Training (DTT) session. Realizing how much I loved these two experiences, and how much I loved working with this clientele, I decided to look into working full-time in ABA.

Q: WHAT DOES DIVERSITY, EQUITY, AND INCLUSION (DEI) MEAN TO YOU?

A: Diversity helps me understand someone else’s perspective. Diverse representation on my team and caseload teaches me various aspects of cultures I may not have been otherwise exposed to. Inclusion encourages me to be more aware, to look at how environments can and should create safer spaces, depending on—and regardless of—background. Equity reminds me that I should make sure I develop these safe spaces for my clients, for the staff I mentor, and for the colleagues with whom I interact.

Q: WHAT IS THE MOST CHALLENGING ASPECT OF WORKING IN A DIVERSE ENVIRONMENT?

A: It’s ensuring I am culturally competent regarding the people I interact with daily, which involves being mindful of the impact my actions have on those around me.

Q: WHAT IS YOUR APPROACH TO UNDERSTANDING THE PERSPECTIVES OF COLLEAGUES OR CLIENTS FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

A: I tend to ask clients or staff questions so I can learn if they are doing something I have never been exposed to or am not familiar with. An example that sticks with me is a time I worked with a Hindu family celebrating Diwali. I was curious about what the various decorations symbolized, if the family would need to take time off for festivities, how the holiday was developed, and its importance in their culture. Learning about all of this not only helped me in my role but also taught me something new.

I also tend to check in with parents regarding social skills and if, in their culture, certain skills are acceptable skill to teach. For example, a Nigerian client shared how expectations of children when responding to adults in their culture counters typical Western responses, such as the Western habit of looking at adults in the face. Another family shared that it is not customary for children in their culture to ever call their parents by their first names or know parents as anything other than ‘mom’ or ‘dad.’

Q: WHY IS DEI IMPORTANT IN ABA?

A: DEI is important in ABA because as clinicians, we want to promote inclusivity across any background or way of life. I try to focus my practice on being mindful of every client and family’s situation. This involves being as sensitive as I can to promote success, while also understanding potential limitations. I try to model for my staff how to be culturally curious and respectful of family dynamics. And I always remind them that just because we’ve had an experience with people of a certain background, it doesn’t mean a new family with the same background will respond or have the same cultural preferences. Everyone is unique, and it’s our job to respect that.

Q: TELL ME ABOUT A TIME WHEN YOU ADVOCATED FOR DIVERSITY AND INCLUSION.

A: Once, on an outing with a client to practice tolerating using hand-drying machines, my client had a difficult time with the noise. A staff member asked us to leave because my client was having a tantrum. I asked the parent if they were OK with me speaking to the manager for them, which they were. After session, I returned to the store to speak to the manager and explain what we were doing. The manager understood, and moving forward, the staff always greeted us, and the parent felt more at ease because they did not feel as judged by the staff during our daily outings.

Q: WHAT’S SOMETHING MOST COLLEAGUES DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU?

A: Most people know that I come from a large family (four sisters and two brothers), but they don’t know that I come from a blended family. I say I have six siblings, but in reality, others may say: ‘Oh those are your step-sisters, your half-sisters, your adopted brother. They’re not really your siblings.’ Statements like this can be extremely harmful, because growing up, we never labeled one another that way. It was even harder because my one full biological brother looks like the complete opposite of me. I have my mother’s light features: light eyes, light skin, light hair, while my brother has my father’s features: dark hair, olive skin, dark eyes, because we are multi-racial. Statements questioning family relations create divides and identity issues that aren’t necessary. All I ever think when this happens is: ‘This is just my family, and I am surrounded by love. Is that not enough?’

For another story from our series, Spotlight on Diversity in ABA, read “An Interview with Giovanna ‘G’ Bosco.”

A New Year to Make Progress 2019

We are happy to re-share this blog from a previous year that received so much wonderful feedback. We wish everyone a year of great moments, memories and progress.

Autism is in the news, social media, and print more than ever. The increasing awareness is great. The influx of research and funding options is even better! The heartwarming stories and success stories are inspiring. Still, misinformation and slanted headlines are annoyingly abound. Such is this complicated, passionate and ultimately very unique autism community. We are glad to be a part of it, and do our best to honor and respect the many contributing voices. As a community, we are making progress and continue to be optimistic that together, we can make great strides. We have no doubt that the most important person to each and every parent, day-in and day-out, is your child with autism.

So what will this year’s 365 days mean for you? We suggest this simple, but powerful idea: progress. When you’re past the notion that there may be a quick fix and come to terms that the pursuit of a cure won’t help you with today’s challenges, progress is the name of the game. Forget quantum leaps; each milestone met will offer its own reward. Know there will be set backs and rough patches, and keep moving forward.

BE PRESENT: There are many amazing therapists, doctors and teachers in the world who have taught so much about development and parenting. However, keep in mind that you are the one who is with your child every day. For real progress to take place, you gotta be in the game. Don’t forget to take time to just BE with your child and appreciate all the beautiful, unique ways they express themselves.

BE CONSISTENT: What is the 12 step motto…”the more you work it, the more it works”? Working consistently with your child’s team to implement strategies, even when it’s hard or inconvenient, propels the process.

BE A FRIEND/SPOUSE/PERSON: You can’t focus on autism 24 hours a day. Remember to make time for yourself, friends and family. When you do, life just has more balance and you’ll likely have more stamina for the work ahead.

BE GRATEFUL: Count your blessings, celebrate the wins and enjoy every single bit of progress. This is what makes it all worth it. No one else will feel joy quite the way you will. It’s awesome.

This year, we will continue to be moved, enlightened and sometimes annoyed by it all. Stick to a plan that works for you and your family, and know that come December 31, 2019, you’ll be able to look at another year passed – and call it good.

For great news and information, visit our blog, All Autism Videos and All Autism Talk.

MYTH: Nonverbal or Nonspeaking People with Autism are Intellectually Disabled

RONIT MOLKO, PH.D., BCBA-D
STRATEGIC ADVISOR, LEARN BEHAVIORAL

Just because someone is nonspeaking, does not mean they’re non-thinking. Around 25 to 30 percent of children with autism spectrum disorder are minimally verbal or do not speak at all. These individuals are referred to as nonverbal or nonspeaking, but even the term nonverbal is a bit of a misnomer. While nonspeaking individuals with autism may not speak words to communicate, many still understand words and even use written words to communicate.

Nonspeaking individuals with autism utilize a variety of augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) methods. These range from no-tech and low-tech options such as gestures, writing, drawing, spelling words, and pointing to photos or written words, to high-tech options like iPads or speech-generating devices.

There are several reasons that an individual with autism may have difficulty talking or holding conversation that are not related to intellectual disability. The disorder may have prevented the normal development of verbal communication skills. They may also have conditions such as apraxia of speech, which affects specific brain pathways, making it difficult for a person to actually formulate and speak the words they’re intending to say. Some may also have echolalia, which causes a person to repeat words over and over again.

While these conditions prevent many individuals from speaking, it does not mean they cannot learn, understand, or even communicate. There is a pervasive misunderstanding about this among the general population due to a lack of education. It is often wrongly assumed that anyone who has difficulty speaking is intellectually disabled.

This misconception can be particularly harmful when held by medical professionals. In the 1980s, as many as 69 percent of people with an autism diagnosis had a dual diagnosis of mental retardation, which would now be labeled intellectual disability. By 2014, that number had declined to just 30 percent, as researchers improved the diagnostic criteria for autism and a fuller picture of the disorder emerged.

Researchers are still working to try and improve diagnostics and better distinguish nonspeaking autism from intellectual disabilities. As Audrey Thurm, a child clinical psychologist at the National Institute of Mental Health in Bethesda, Maryland says: “We have to figure out who has only autism, who has only intellectual disability and, importantly, who has both intellectual disability and autism. That’s millions of people who could be better served by having an accurate distinction that would put them in the right group and get them the right services.”

It’s important to challenge the perception that those who do not speak cannot think. Not only do we risk failing to give them the proper supports and services, but we also undermine their individuality, ingenuity, creativity, and humanity by failing to see them as they truly are. Just because they are not talking does not mean they do not have much to tell us.

The Autism Journey: Accepting vs. Resisting A Diagnosis

BY: NICOLE ZAHIRY, M.A., BCBA
BEHAVIOR ANALYST SPECIALIST, AUTISM SPECTRUM THERAPIES

 According to Autism Speaks, in 2021, 1 in 44 children in the United States were diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), with boys being four times more likely to receive a diagnosis than girls. A diagnosis, of any kind, means something different from family to family and is often colored by their culture, belief system, generational influences, and socio-economic factors.

For some, a diagnosis provides validation—there is a name for the group of symptoms parents, friends or family members may have observe (or comment on)—things like: a language delay, “quirks” in social skills, atypical behaviors, or excessive tantrums. The diagnosis can be affirming; for moms, in particular, there may be a sense that their “gut” was right. It may be a sigh of relief that their intuition has been validated in the form of a recognizable diagnosis — something more than just an instinct felt deeply in some intangible way. For others, a diagnosis can be a devastating surprise — one that catches unsuspecting parents off-guard and leaves them feeling overwhelmed and underprepared.

Whether a parent has suspected something all along or is taken aback by a diagnosis, all families grapple with making sense of what it all means. The hard part, for many families, is being patient, hopeful, and resolute when the questions far outnumber the answers.

After a Diagnosis

Arguably, one of the hardest parts of the journey for parents of children with ASD, is the beginning. The unknowns are pervasive. The information “out there” is wild. Google is daunting (and often alarmist), and questions lead to more questions even before the diagnosis has been fully digested. Parents may begin asking themselves and others: What is ASD? What does it mean? Will my child learn to communicate? Will his/her behavior ever improve? What now? What do I do? What treatments are available? Why is this happening?

One truth about ASD is that autism is different for each autistic individual. As autistic professor and advocate Dr. Stephen Shore says, “If you’ve seen one person with autism, you’ve seen one person with autism.” And, it’s true. Autism looks, sounds, feels, and behaves differently for each autistic child.

A neighbor, friend, or family member’s autistic child, his/her skills and strengths, areas of need, where and how much he/she is impacted by the diagnosis, will all vary. Every child is unique. Every autistic child is too. Comparing one autistic child against the skills of another can be, at best, misguided and, at worst, detrimental. The best (albeit, the only) way to answer some of those nagging questions is to submit to the journey of autism and start down its road one step at a time, minute to minute, hour by hour, day by day.

The Journey of Autism: Resistance and Grief

There’s no doubt that undertaking something new can feel overwhelming. After all, autism is a journey most parents are ill-prepared to begin and may resist undertaking altogether. Beginning a journey with few answers, little information, and no preparation makes even the boldest and bravest among us uncertain. But, as the old adage goes, “A journey well begun, is half done.” For parents, beginning the autism journey on the right foot often means acknowledging resistance, grief, and other feelings about the diagnosis before heading down the road.

Resistance, in the beginning, often shows-up in unhelpful ways and can breed doubt or distrust and delay access to important early interventions. It often comes from a place of grief, guilt, or anger:  Could the doctor be wrong? Did I cause this? Maybe my child will “outgrow” it? Maybe my child is just “slow”? It can be difficult to side-step resistance and forge ahead when many questions remain unanswered. But, the autism journey is not linear—emotions, feelings, and reactions will not be either.

Later on, resistance can become an important component of advocacy. Resistance may prompt parents to speak-up/stand-up, and communicate to care providers if/when assessment, placement, or goals do not align with their (or their child’s) objectives for treatment. Resistance gives parents a new voice; it can lead to useful insights, self-reflection, and those wonderful “lightbulb” moments that have the power to remove roadblocks and push treatment forward.

Processing grief is sometimes an uncomfortable but important additional step for parents new to the journey. All the unknowns can be heavy; grieving the weight of those worries is important. It is OK to be sad. It is OK to feel loss. It is OK to shoulder that grief with a partner, a trusted friend, a therapist, or a family member. It is also OK if parents don’t feel these things, either.

But for those that do, it is critical to recognize that grief or sadness will eventually make way for other emotions and lend themselves to a steadfast resiliency that treatment, therapy, and advocacy often require.

It’s important to acknowledge that grief can (and often does) exist alongside hope, love, and other complicated feelings—sometimes competing for attention. Accepting a diagnosis is not the absence of grief, but rather, an acceptance of it. It is an acknowledgement that things will look different because of autism but also an understanding that different is not less. Different is important and valuable. Differences are necessary. Differences are an inherent component to being alive, to living, to being human.

The Road to Acceptance and Action

Accepting autism means taking those reluctant first steps.

Those steps can be taken with uncertainty, with fear, with resistance or grief, with hope, with love, with the whole gamut of emotions along for the ride. Acceptance involves understanding autism as more than a label but a gateway to support and community; an opportunity to educate siblings, family, and community members about autism, inclusion, and neurodiversity.

It can be a call to action — personally, within the walls of a home, and beyond. Several important organizations at the forefront of autism and autism research were started by parents. Parents looking for support, digging for answers, researching effective treatment for their children. Parents who didn’t expect autism. Parents who may have grieved the diagnosis. Parents who fought hard for their child, for change, for growth, for acceptance and advancement.

A diagnosis also allows parents to access effective therapies via private insurance and academic supports from their local school district. Therapy that opens doors, strengthens skills, and decreases the impact maladaptive behaviors like aggression or tantrums may have on an autistic child’s quality of life.

Acceptance fuels action. Action brings answers.

Autistic children will have different needs than neurotypical children. There will be different obstacles to overcome and different battles to be fought. But, in many ways, the journey will be the same. Life will ebb and flow and push and pull parents in a thousand different ways—some of which will not be easy to understand. Questions will always come before there are answers. And, there will always be questions that don’t have answers. There will be ups and downs. There will be periods of high highs and low lows.

But, there will be joy. There will be laughter. There will be love.

Nicole Zahiry, M.A., BCBA, is a behavior analyst specialist in Orange County, California. She has been active in the field of ABA for nearly 20 years. She is also a mother to three children, one of whom was dual diagnosed with ASD and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) at 5 years old. Nicole is a fierce advocate for neurodivergent inclusion and considers herself an ally of the disabled community.

Myth: People with Autism Don’t Feel Love

by Katherine Johnson. M.S., BCBA
Senior Director of Partnerships, LEARN Behavioral

 “One of the most Googled questions neurotypicals ask about dating on the autism spectrum is, ‘Can autistic people fall in love?’” says Tasha Oswald, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist, on her blog series Dating on the Autism Spectrum. “To be honest, this question always catches me off guard,” she says. “Of course, they can.”

For those of us who know and love people on the spectrum, the question may be: how is this myth still around? For one thing, widespread abelism in our culture means that media often depicts love as happening only between people who match some arbitrary standard of ability, beauty, intelligence, or “cool” that the majority of us don’t meet. This perception is compounded by the communication differences that are a defining feature of autism: autistic people either have difficulty communicating or communicate differently than neurotypicals, including expressions of love and attraction. Additionally, sensory differences can make physical expressions of love a little more complicated, requiring explicit communication that, again, may be a challenge. And of course, it shouldn’t be missed that in general, love can be an overwhelming and confusing part of the human condition, including, but not limited to, autistic humans.

Expressions of love

The fact that autistic people experience the full range of human emotions, including love, is indisputable.

A recent article in the journal Autism examined the lived experience of autistic mothers with children ages 5-15. Answering open-ended questions in a semi-structured interview, mothers spoke of their connections with their children using the words “love,” “bond,” and “complete adoration.” Reading their accounts highlights that in spite of the barriers many of them face, their emotional experiences are quite familiar. For instance, one expressed that she felt worried that her love for her second child wouldn’t be as strong as it was for her first – a nearly universal experience of parents of multiple children (Of course, in the end she was “pleasantly surprised” that this wasn’t the case.).

Austin John Smith is an autistic blogger who has shared his experience moving in with a girlfriend and getting used to living together before getting married. As he writes lovingly about their day-to-day lives, he describes the things they have in common, their differences, how they share their emotions, and how they support each other. Smith says, “I love her more than anything in this whole world, and I am 1000% willing to go through anything with her…”

But these are stories of autistic folks who can speak and express their feelings. What about those who are unable to communicate verbally?  Laura Cunningham has first-hand experience. The Pueblo, Colorado, woman adopted her son, Spencer, when he was 11. He’s 19 now. He’s on the spectrum and is non-verbal. But “he feels love,” his mom says. Not only does he hug her and hold her hand, but he also has his own way of expressing emotion, one example of which chokes her up. It was the beginning of the school year, and she was talking to him about school. Spencer was excited and did something he had never done before: he picked up his phone and found certain sections of songs that he wanted to play for her over and over. The meaningful lyrics were his way of expressing what he was feeling.

Barriers

Although difficulty in love has been the subject of countless songs, stories, and myths since the beginning of time, autistic folks may have additional strains on their emotional connections. Sensory differences mean that the types of physical expressions of love that our society views as “typical” may not serve the same function for autistic people. For instance, the sensation of kissing may not spark the same warm feelings in an autistic partner that a neurotypical person would expect. Reading social cues, being flexible to accommodate a partner’s needs, and expressing their own emotional needs can all be challenging for autistics. For non-verbal autistic people, expressions of affection can be tragically misunderstood; one mother of a non-verbal autistic teenager named Sam related that “if a 17-year-old boy in his high school puts his arm around somebody, that’s considered fine. My son puts his arm around somebody, he gets an incident report.”

Support: Translating to the other side.

Autism expert Peter Gerhardt repeated a question posed to him by a friend on the spectrum: “if you neurotypicals have all the skills, why don’t you adapt for a while, damn it?”

So, what is society doing to support autistic people in their human quest for love? There are certainly more resources today than there were a decade ago, with support groups devoted to neurodiverse couples, books and resources for autistic people, online communities where neurodivergent people can support each other in their relationship challenges, and even a television show devoted to the topic, Love on the Spectrum.

Even so, more mechanisms for support are needed. Gerhardt says, “When I talk to professionals about the issue of sexuality and relationships on the autism spectrum, they often say, well, parents don’t want to deal with this, parents are afraid to deal with this. And then when I talk to parents about the issue, they say, well, professionals don’t want to deal with it. So, what ends up happening, is nobody deals with it, and it becomes, sort of this, you know, elephant in the living room that nobody is really dealing with.”

Debunking the myth

Society often sends the message that there is a “right way” to express love. People who love someone with autism and are loved by them know that affection can be expressed in a wide variety of ways. Still, that societal standard of what is “right” can lead autistic people to try to be someone they are not.  Anyone who has tried to be a “better version” of themselves for a partner knows how much energy it takes and that the relationships often fail. Masking is stressful and harmful. We can all help to destigmatize love among people with neurological differences and work to find more ways to support our autistic brothers and sisters in this integral part of the human experience.

Thankfully, there are a lot of beautiful success stories out there. Austin John Smith writes of his wife, “Despite all the good times we have had, there have been times where being on the spectrum has made things difficult for Annie and me. What can I say? I’m not perfect. I never will be. I just am who I am. But what I do each and every day with her is what I consider trying to do my best.” We should all be so lucky to have a partner with his perspective.

10 Tips for Navigating the IEPs

The Outcome of your IEP process relies on you…

One of the most important discussions parents can have with their clinical team is about the goals they have for their child as they grow into adulthood. Most parents grapple with finding the time to think about their child’s long-term future when they are facing the daily needs of mealtimes, sleep schedules, or having a successful play-date. However, as tough as this discussion is, it is critically important to start this conversation early because the foundational skills that will enable your child to function well as an adult are taught and acquired during childhood.

A significant part of a child’s development will be determined by their school environment, academic placement, and the academic curriculum that guides their learning. A child’s initial Individual Education Plan (IEP) is critical. This important document will lay the groundwork for the types and level of services that a child will receive throughout their academic years. It is essential that parents put sufficient time and effort into preparing for their first and subsequent IEP meetings.

An Individual Education Plan (IEP) is a legal document that is developed for every child eligible for special education. This plan contains a statement of a child’s present level of functioning in terms of performance, educational needs, goals, levels of service, and measurable outcomes. The first IEP meeting is typically held before a child transitions into preschool or as soon as a child is identified as having a special need and determined eligible for special education services. An IEP meeting can be held at multiple times during the year: after a formal assessment; if a child demonstrates a lack of progress; or if a parent or teacher requests a meeting to develop, review, or revise a child’s current IEP.

There are some important steps that parents should consider when beginning the IEP process. We have outlined some of the most important ones for you here. The following guidelines can help you prepare for your first IEP:

  1. Understand the IEP Process and Know Your Rights. It is of paramount importance to read up on the IEP process, become familiar with IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act), and understand your rights as a parent. In addition to studying the law, many parents seek advice from an advocate and network with well-informed parents who have first-hand experience with the IEP process in their school district.
  2. Make All of Your Requests in Writing. All requests should be made in writing to create a documentation trail that provides a history of the child’s academic needs and requests to the school district (e.g., requests for an IEP meeting, an assessment of any kind, or a classroom placement recommendation). It also allows you to state your requests in your own words. In addition, ask the IEP committee to record these written requests as part of the minutes in an IEP meeting. The IEP committee can accept or deny these requests. If the committee denies the requests, then they must follow the procedural safeguards in IDEA and provide written notice of why they are denying your request. If the request is not documented in writing, the school district is not required to provide the service. (Be Familiar with Prior Notice of the Procedural Safeguards (34 CFR 300.503))
  3. Obtain Independent Assessments Ahead of Your IEP Meeting. The school team should not be recommending nor denying services without an assessment to evaluate the need for that service and neither should parents. You will want to request, in writing, that your child be assessed before the IEP meeting is held. Ideally, if all the necessary assessments are conducted prior to the IEP meeting, then the recommendations for treatments can be discussed during the IEP meeting. Be sure to request copies of the assessments, progress reports, and proposed goals in advance of the meeting, in order to have ample time to review and be fully informed during the meeting.
  4. Organize All of Your Records. Parents should have all of their records on hand and easily accessible during IEP meetings. Create a system of storing and updating all information that makes sense to you and that makes it easy for you to find the information you need.
  5. Observe the Classroom. Ask to observe any classroom where your child is being recommended for placement, so you can better understand if it would be a good fit. If for some reason the school will not let you observe, have a professional who is familiar with your child observe the setting.The law states that the team must start with the Least Restrictive Environment (LRE) which is the general education classroom as the first option and work towards a more restrictive environment only as necessary as needs come up that cannot be met with supports and modifications in the LRE. Therefore, placement should never be decided upon before the child’s goals and objectives are concluded. (see item #7 for Goals and Objectives)
  6. Formulate a list of Questions before your IEP. In advance of the meeting, prepare a comprehensive list of questions (a very long list is completely appropriate). During the meeting, assign someone on your team to take notes and write down answers to all of your questions. This allows you to focus on the conversation. A tremendous amount of information is exchanged at IEP meetings, and it can be overwhelming to absorb it all.
  7. Make Sure Goals and Objectives are Progress Oriented. Goals and objectives are one of the most important elements of an IEP. If the goals and objective are not written in a manner that is observable and measurable, one cannot determine if a child is making progress. Without this, the school can claim that a child has made progress without producing actual data to evidence the skills gained. In addition, the goals and objectives will specify what a child needs to learn in that academic year. This is the critical time to think more long-term. Will these goals serve where you want your child to be two years from now? Five years from now? Are they laying the foundation for the necessary skills that your child will need as an adult to live the most independent life he or she can? Get input from members of the team that work with your child before the meeting; ask for their opinion of your child’s progress and needs.
  8. Be the Host, Not the Guest. Since IEP meetings are held at the school district, parents typically feel like a guest at their child’s IEP. However, since the IEP meeting is about your child, parents can create a more personal atmosphere. For example: by providing snacks, pastries and light refreshments, you can put yourself in the position of host of the IEP meeting. Another idea is to bring a photograph of your child and place it in the center of the table to remind the team who and what the meeting is about- providing services to support this specific child in attaining his or her highest potential.
  9. Never Go Alone. The support of a family member, uncle, husband, friend, advocate, cannot be overstated. The IEP process can be  stressful, tiring, and sometimes overwhelming. Parents often share that having someone else in the room to support them, take notes and offer reassurance makes a huge difference. In some instances, parents obtain professional support from advocates or special education attorneys who specialize in the IEP process.
  10. Disagree Without Being Disagreeable. Once the team has made their recommendations and concluded the IEP, parents will be asked to sign the IEP document. The IEP document allows for them to sign that they were present at the IEP but that they do not agree at that time with the recommendations. This is a good option to exercise at the end of the meeting. It gives you the opportunity to take the IEP home to review later and have the option to request changes. This can be done in a very respectful way, allowing you time to make the best decisions that are best for your family.As a parent, you are a vital part of your child’s IEP team. You are your child’s best advocate and the person who knows what’s best and most appropriate for him. With the correct information and support you can create a comprehensive and suitable roadmap for your child’s future.

 

– Michelle Stone, M.S., BCBA. Based on an interview with David Wyles- a Parent’s Guide to the IEP.

Autism Help at Home: Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Teaching Progressive Muscle Relaxation to children with autism. Presented by Behavior Analyst Katherine Johnson, BCBA.

This video is brought to you by the LEARN Provider Network (https://www.learnbehavioral.com/).

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